Volume two: [ Detachment as a way of life || Using the four keys || The detached anticipation process ]
Volume one: [ The four keys to happiness and the Law Of Attraction || Stop fighting life – Acceptance || Do something else.., anything else – Distraction || Be grateful for what you have – Appreciation || Let go of needing – Detachment || You really can have what you want ]
Please read volume one (link above) first to maximise the use of the technique in this volume.
Detachment as a way of life
Detachment from a goal or outcome feels kind of like this (sitting down to watch a game on TV) – “I want the red team to win.., but if the blue team wins, that’s ok too. Either way it’s going to be a great game and I’m going to enjoy it. I mean don’t get me wrong, if the red team scores, popcorn’s gonna fly. But the excitement of the game is what I’m looking forward to”.
If you want more money, it could be loving your job and doing it well just because it’s fun to do so. You know in the back of your mind that you may get promoted because of it one day but that’s not the focus.
So detached goals are having a preference while being fine if something else happens or even if things stay as they are. And by doing so, ironically you get far more of what you want because you’re offering no resistance to it.
It’s important to know.., this is not giving up on your goal or not pursuing it relentlessly if that is your passion to do so. This is allowing for results not expected or wanted to be OK just as they are, and using them as lessons and motivation to do something new.
Bottom line here; detachment is an attitude!
Using the four keys
“I keep losing my keys.., why do I need four of them”.
You may have noticed already how fully embracing even one of these four keys, naturally brings the other three with it. Just take one and run with it if that’s what excites you!
Can you really fully live in acceptance of life without doing things you enjoy (distraction), thinking and talking about how you enjoy them (appreciation), and not worrying about the future (detachment)? The same applies to each of the four keys but requires a deep level of understanding that comes easier by focusing on all four as a set.
Practice practice practice
Make each of these four keys to happiness and the LOA part of your daily focus, and you approach the result of feeling good from multiple angles. Do that and you will be amazed at how things change for you.
Go easy on yourself. Be prepared to accept (remember the first key) some things may take time to change.
These four keys are ways of living more than they are techniques to practice. There are of course techniques and processes to help you along the way though.
Ok; you get what detachment is now. Time to foster it. You’re really going to like this next process.., read on..
The detached anticipation process
Yeah but, HOW DO I DETACH???
Good question! Aren’t you a smart cookie for asking.
Acceptance I can work on you say.
Distraction sounds like fun; I can meditate or play some sport or listen to music etc.
Appreciation I can work on to; I can write lists and look for things during the day to smile at and be grateful for.
But seriously! I can’t stop wanting what I want!
There’s enough articles out there saying what to do without how to do it.., give me something, I hear you say!
So like I said; embracing the other three keys will automatically lead to detachment but lets do something specific.
This process combines two NLP processes (anchoring and future pacing) with meditation. I suggest you choose one particular thing you want to detach from to do this with at first until you get used to it. As you get used to doing it, you can repeat it with each new thing individually or even do multiple things at once.
BTW; this process is about far more than detaching. It will set up an attitude moving forward if used more than just a few times.
Now chillax about the meditation part ok. Even if you’re totally new to it, ten minutes of meditating or less is all that’s needed for you to get started.
Step one – find and anchor an example of excitement/anticipation
I have written about how to create an anchor and what one is here:
My suggestion with all processes is to read them right through first so you know the intention, then do them. So keep reading till the end, then click on the link, create an anchor and continue. It’s really easy and fun once you know the details.
For this process anchor the following – remember a time when you had that feeling of excitement and or anticipation about something that you knew was going to be good but didn’t know what it was. In other words this is an example of detached excitement.
A few classic examples of this are: Just before opening a present that you have no idea about. Going on a holiday with someone without planning the details. Going on a blind date (unless you were nervous, lol). Or any other time where you were just excited and happy to be about to discover something. Go ahead and anchor that and then continue…
Step Two – Meditate
So now that you have excited anticipation anchored, here’s the deal.
Find a comfy chair or bed (bear in mind on a bed you may be more likely to fall asleep) and focus on your breathing. If you already meditate then you can add these extra steps to your normal meditation.
That’s all you need to do to meditate, just observe your breath in and out. If your mind wanders away from doing that then when you notice it has, just bring it back to focusing on the breath again. There’s no failure here.., just persistence and acceptance.
Don’t worry about the time; just start with the intention of it being about ten minutes and your mind will do the rest. How often do you wake up just before your alarm clock goes off? Your mind knows how to time itself.
The aim with meditation is to quiet the mind from the normal chaos of thoughts the consume your attention. In other words meditation helps you disconnect/detach from what is and therefore allow more freely other ideas thoughts and manifestations in. So focus on letting go and relaxing as you observe your breath.
Once you have done what feels about ten minutes or whatever you need or like to do to feel more calm and removed from the thoughts of your normal living day than normal , then you are ready to use your anchor. You’ll know when you feel calm enough; and let that ‘in the moment’ realisation be your guide as to when to do the next step.
Step three – create a new feeling
Stay in the same still position and maintain as much as possible the calm feeling you have from meditation and casually ‘fire’ your anchor for excited anticipation.
Now as you feel that feeling blend with the calmness you have already you will feel a new type of feeling developing.., a calm excitement/anticipation.
It may sound impossible for excitement to be also calm but you will feel the difference and that’s what’s important. It’s excitement that feels centred and accepting of whatever happens. The type of excitement that is immune to external pressures.
Step four – attach the new feeling to future events
Now.., while maintaining that new feeling within you.., imagine 3 or more times in the future a situation where it’s possible you could get what you want (the thing you’re detaching from). And imagine two variables for each time; one where you DO actually get it, and one where you don’t get it but then look forward with calm, detached anticipation to another time.
IE: What you are doing is imagining feeling this detached anticipation in the future whether you get your goal/result or not! Because in reality you never stop having a next goal or focus do you.
For example, if I wanted to detach from the neediness around money, I could imagine seeing myself in the future with a big bank balance while feeling calmly excited about my financial future. Plus I can imagine seeing myself with my current level of bank balance and feeling calmly excited about my financial future.
Get the idea?
Once you’ve done step four 3 times or more, allow yourself to gently come back to awareness and start the rest of your day feeling like this. What a way to start, or go to sleep, depending on when you do this process.
Have fun with this.
Live the new habit
After a few times of doing this process you will be able to do it in just a few minutes and even on a bus or train while going to work. And further practice will make the feeling so common that you won’t have to formally do the process at all.
Remember; when you DO get what you want, it’s just as important to not feel attached to it even then. The harder you hold on to something, the more it wants to escape. Just try smothering a partner by holding on to their attention too tightly and see what happens!
Money is energy as well. It will treat you well if you let it flow. Energy trapped cannot expand!
You owe it to yourself to relax about your future regardless of what comes. And by doing so, you will attract and notice things with a growing momentum that excites the hell out of you.
Be awesome.., or at least mildly fantastic. 🙂
Feel good consistently.., the art of emotion and mindset management >>
What if this is the best article you ever read >>
Mindfulness, and changing personal reality through observation >>
In search of the perfect affirmation >>